Ryan Reynolds’ abs… I mean Green Lantern: Review’d

Posted: June 19, 2011 in reviews
Tags: , , , , , ,

ryanreynoldsewAlright, first post is out of the way and it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty and get a review under my belt.  There is one housekeeping thing to address first.  It’s small though, unlike the dust bunnies currently living under your bed and mine.  Posts will be coming to your way twice a week, on Sunday and Thursday.  See, I told you it was small, brief even, but it had to be done.  This way all the haters can berate me if I miss a day.  Damn those haters…  Anyways, on to the abs, I mean the review.

I need to preface by saying that I LOVE super hero movies.   I love them like a fat kid loves doughnuts.  This love has meant suffering through Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer as well as the horrid Tim Allen film Zoom and Sky High.  That’s right, you only have to mention the word superhero and I’ll shell out my hard earned monies to see it, even if it looks (and is) awful.  That being said, I was DYING to see Green Lantern.  In fact, aside from HP7:2 this is probably the film I was most looking forward in the summer line up.  I purchased my tickets a week in advance, buying tickets for a 3-green lantern stubsD show because they had no 2-D shows available.  They added them after I bought my 3-D tickets… the bastards.  My utter hatred of 3-D will have to be saved for another post though.    Anyways, I got my tickets, was excited for it all week, got to the theater early, got my favorite seat… I was set, ready to go, ready to experience a movie featuring one of my favourite (and often neglected) super heroes.   Keep your Peter Parker and your Bruce Wayne, give me Hal Jordan any day of the week.

Need I preface the rest of this with a spoiler alert?  *SPOILER ALERT*  That’s the first and only one you’re getting, so don’t get used to it.

The film wasn’t terrible and it wasn’t great; I’d give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.  (Actually, I’d give it a 2.5 out of 5, but well, Ryan Reynolds abs get a point because I like the man candy… I’ll admit it, will you?!)  The most obvious problems with the film were an utter lack of chemistry between Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, poor dialogue and Peter Sarsgaard and his giant head and receding hair line.   Oh, and the 3-D, was nothing special.  It wasn’t the worst 3-D I’ve seen (that would be Fly Me to the Moon) but it had no real ‘special effects’ added so you felt immersed in the film.  Not worth the extra $$$, it rarely is.

Let me be the first to say I understand how important it is to explain the back story of how a superhero manifests his power, even though it sometimes felt never ending in this movie.  My first inclination is to compare this to Spiderman.   The first Spiderman movie was a wonderful foray into the life of Peter Parker, but the second film blew it out of the water (we’ll not mention the third though, what with the dancing and the weird musical number in the middle).  That’s how I sort of see the Green Lantern franchise.  There is so much confusing back story that NEEDS to be explained.  It can’t be glossed over and still make sense.    Because so much time is spent developing this story, you don’t really get to see our boy shine as the Green Lantern.  It lacks those death-defying fight scenes that I tend to enjoy.  Now that the back story is established we can perhaps see more ass kicking in a sequel.  I’m hoping.  Sure him figuring out that overcoming fear and not actually being “fearless” are what will give him enough strength to defeat the big baddie requires all this back story, but I like explosions… that or I’ve watched too many Michael Bay films.

On to the acting.  I’ll admit I’m a sucker for Ryan Reynolds, and not just because he’s easy on the eyes.  I’ve loved him since his days as Van Wilder and though he has mostly stuck to the comedies, he’s started to show some more depth with Buried and was downright charming in The Proposal.  That being said, I find it hard to find fault with him in this movie.  It wasn’t his fault the dialogue was sometimes awful, or that he had to ‘serenade’ Blake Lively in a bar a la Top Gun.  He did the best with what he was given.

My biggest issue was with Blake Lively, aka Serena Vanderwoodsen of Gossip Girl fame.  She was not a convincing Carol Ferris.  I can’t look at her and believe she’s a fighter pilot cum business executive cum love interest.  She was nothing more than a clothes horse with a bad dye job.  I never felt a real connection between her and Mr. Reynolds, I never felt that there was some unrequited love or lingering issues under all the ‘daddy’ angst Hal Jordan was crippled by as he went about trying to figure out why he was the one chosen to take up the ring and lantern.  Do I have a suggestion for a new Carol Ferris… not really… but how about someone who doesn’t look like they could be blown over by a strong wind.

greenlanternsarsgaardFinally, the one thing I really didn’t like was Peter Sarsgaard.  The giant head, the weird glowing eyes… even before he’s infected by an alien virus he comes off as a creeper.  He’s like the guy who lives down the street and you just know he has dead bodies in his freezer.  You know the guy I’m talking about.  Are we supposed to feel sorry for him because his senator dad doesn’t love him and is ashamed of him, or because he never ‘got’ the girl because someone more handsome was always in the way?  Are we supposed to be creeped out as he’s infected by alien goop then turns into an asshole because he can finally get back at the people who neglected him and over looked him?  I’m not sure what I was supposed to feel… or if he was necessary to the plot at all.  Wasn’t there enough going on that you couldn’t have figured out another way for Hal to realize he had to try and fight to save his planet?  Something?  Anything?  Bueller?  Meh.  All I felt was nauseous, and that was from looking at him.

That aside, I stick by my 3.5 rating (out of 5) because I’m feeling generous.  If you enjoy the ‘magic’ of the big screen and seeing a movie in an audience of people who will geek out with you, you could make a trip to the local cinema for a show.  Frankly though, my recommendation is to rent it when it comes out on DVD.  It’s not the best, it’s not the worst, it’s pretty average but I think the franchise has potential to grow into something awesome.

Now then, who is ready for Captain America!?

  1. […] (all three of them), that it is the best entry into the X-Men franchise thus far.  Remember that Green Lantern Review I did, where I gushed about how much I LOVED super hero movies?  Yeah, that doesn’t apply to […]

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